Monday, May 30, 2011
It was a pretty good weekend in Virginia. Visited with Ann's mom, and basically hung out. We missed Temple night this weekend, but I guess we need a dancing rest every now and then. Started reading Cheire Priest's Boneshaker a steampunk novel. It's pretty good so far. Not looking forward to going back into work this week. Next weekend looks like roller derbie, Temple, and who knows whatelse.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Blog
Reverted it to a simple format. It just needs to say what I want it to say, and not be a blazing tiger jumping through a hoop.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
10 Things Your Boss Isn’t Telling You
10 Things Your Boss Isn’t Telling You
Here are 10 things that your boss might be too uncomfortable to say to you:
1. You talk too much in meetings. Before you take up the group’s time at the next meeting, ask yourself whether everyone there really needs to hear what you’re about to say.
2. You’re spending too much time on Facebook. You might think it doesn’t impact your productivity, but most managers are sure it does. They don’t want to see you logged into Facebook or other social networking sites when you’re supposed to be focused on work.
[See 12 Common Work Email Mistakes.]
3. You’re too emotional. If you routinely get upset, offended, or angry, your boss might dread giving you critical feedback, to the point of avoiding it altogether–which will put you at a huge disadvantage. You want to know what you could be doing better, and you’re more likely to hear it if you don’t make it difficult for your boss to tell you.
4. You dress inappropriately. Especially if you’re a female employee with a male manager, you might never be alerted that your necklines are unprofessionally low. But that doesn’t mean that people aren’t noticing and taking you less seriously because of it.
5. Your attitude stinks. If you’re high-maintenance or complain frequently or don’t ever take ownership for your work, your boss probably considers you a pain to deal with. Guess what that means for you? Less interesting assignments, less flexibility, lower raises, and ending up at the top of the list if cuts ever need to be made.
[See What to Do When You Hate Your Job.]
6. There’s a reason you’re being micromanaged. Your manager might love to back off if only you’d stay more on top of things, stop letting things fall through the cracks, and generally be someone she can rely on more. She’s hovering because you haven’t given her reason to trust you.
7. You bring your personal life to the office in ways that make people uncomfortable. If you’re making personal calls that involve yelling, swearing, or crying, or if you’re regularly telling your co-workers about your latest marital fight (or latest hot date), it’s a safe bet that people around you are cringing.
8. Your bias shows, and it makes you less credible. Most managers can tell when you’re not playing it straight with them. The way to have real credibility with your boss is to be vigilant about putting all the facts on the table when you’re talking through an issue, and even be candid about your own biases.
9. Your co-worker earned that special treatment. Sometimes the reason that your co-worker gets to come in late or get better projects than you might be that she worked all weekend and regularly outshines you with her work.
[See How Positivity Opens Doors in Your Career.]
10. You don’t need to agree so much. Good bosses want to hear differing opinions. If you can tell that you’re on a different page than your boss–about a project, how realistic a deadline is, or the best way to deal with a difficult client–don’t ignore that difference. Bringing your different outlooks to the surface and explicitly talking about it may reveal that one of you has information that the other doesn’t have, which can result in one of you changing your stance. Plus, if you stay silent and it turns out later that you were right, your boss may be irked that you didn’t tell her about the case for proceeding differently.
Now, to be clear, a good boss won’t stay quiet on any of these topics. But there are plenty of not-so-good bosses out there. And you probably know if you have one.
Alison Green writes the popular Ask a Manager blog where she dispenses advice on career, job search, and management issues. She’s also the author of Managing to Change the World: The Nonprofit Leader’s Guide to Getting Results and former chief of staff of a successful nonprofit organization, where she oversaw day-to-day staff management, hiring, firing, and employee development. She now teaches other managers how to manage for results.
Alison Green, On Thursday May 12, 2011, 6:35 am EDT
Part of being a boss is having difficult conversations. But managers are human, and while they should be tackling difficult or awkward topics head-on, in reality plenty of them shy away from it.Here are 10 things that your boss might be too uncomfortable to say to you:
1. You talk too much in meetings. Before you take up the group’s time at the next meeting, ask yourself whether everyone there really needs to hear what you’re about to say.
2. You’re spending too much time on Facebook. You might think it doesn’t impact your productivity, but most managers are sure it does. They don’t want to see you logged into Facebook or other social networking sites when you’re supposed to be focused on work.
[See 12 Common Work Email Mistakes.]
3. You’re too emotional. If you routinely get upset, offended, or angry, your boss might dread giving you critical feedback, to the point of avoiding it altogether–which will put you at a huge disadvantage. You want to know what you could be doing better, and you’re more likely to hear it if you don’t make it difficult for your boss to tell you.
4. You dress inappropriately. Especially if you’re a female employee with a male manager, you might never be alerted that your necklines are unprofessionally low. But that doesn’t mean that people aren’t noticing and taking you less seriously because of it.
5. Your attitude stinks. If you’re high-maintenance or complain frequently or don’t ever take ownership for your work, your boss probably considers you a pain to deal with. Guess what that means for you? Less interesting assignments, less flexibility, lower raises, and ending up at the top of the list if cuts ever need to be made.
[See What to Do When You Hate Your Job.]
6. There’s a reason you’re being micromanaged. Your manager might love to back off if only you’d stay more on top of things, stop letting things fall through the cracks, and generally be someone she can rely on more. She’s hovering because you haven’t given her reason to trust you.
7. You bring your personal life to the office in ways that make people uncomfortable. If you’re making personal calls that involve yelling, swearing, or crying, or if you’re regularly telling your co-workers about your latest marital fight (or latest hot date), it’s a safe bet that people around you are cringing.
8. Your bias shows, and it makes you less credible. Most managers can tell when you’re not playing it straight with them. The way to have real credibility with your boss is to be vigilant about putting all the facts on the table when you’re talking through an issue, and even be candid about your own biases.
9. Your co-worker earned that special treatment. Sometimes the reason that your co-worker gets to come in late or get better projects than you might be that she worked all weekend and regularly outshines you with her work.
[See How Positivity Opens Doors in Your Career.]
10. You don’t need to agree so much. Good bosses want to hear differing opinions. If you can tell that you’re on a different page than your boss–about a project, how realistic a deadline is, or the best way to deal with a difficult client–don’t ignore that difference. Bringing your different outlooks to the surface and explicitly talking about it may reveal that one of you has information that the other doesn’t have, which can result in one of you changing your stance. Plus, if you stay silent and it turns out later that you were right, your boss may be irked that you didn’t tell her about the case for proceeding differently.
Now, to be clear, a good boss won’t stay quiet on any of these topics. But there are plenty of not-so-good bosses out there. And you probably know if you have one.
Alison Green writes the popular Ask a Manager blog where she dispenses advice on career, job search, and management issues. She’s also the author of Managing to Change the World: The Nonprofit Leader’s Guide to Getting Results and former chief of staff of a successful nonprofit organization, where she oversaw day-to-day staff management, hiring, firing, and employee development. She now teaches other managers how to manage for results.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Pondering my www.markbyars.com website that has been seriously collecting dust. The advantages to having a site of my own is the level of control I would have. The down side is upkeep and over all design is time consuming. I mean social networking sites cover a lot of bases ... BUT ... their quirky about content, and I'm not to keen on a site that can send you packing over content that is legal though perhaps visually dubious. It's pretty much the protocol of all major social networking sites to be that way. So I need to put my designers thinking cap on, because I am not a fan of censorship at all.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
7 tips for handling a mean manager
7 tips for handling a mean manager
When it comes to managers, there are many personality types to deal with -- demanding, micromanaging, hands-off or even relaxed. But perhaps the worst kind of manager to deal with is one who is downright evil.
Bosses are mean to their employees for many reasons. Don Hurzeler, author of "The Way Up: How to Keep Your Career Moving in the Right Direction," says one is reason is that people imitate the behaviors they experienced early on in their own careers.
"If someone is new in the business, impressionable and sees their boss manage by intimidation and by being a bully, they may think that is the way to be when they become a boss," he says.
Some mean managers may not be confident in their own abilities to manage, he adds.
Doing good work might be hard in a toxic work environment. While some employees may be able to perform effectively under a mean boss, more will crumble under the consistent pressure of trying to meet the demands of mean, unreasonable boss, Branch says. And that makes for less productivity, which is not good in today's work climate.
"Employees perform best in a happy, healthy work environment. Fewer workers taking on greater responsibilities is already a recipe for disaster. Now, add mean or spiteful bosses; employee stress shoots through the roof, thus impacting their ability to effectively complete even mundane tasks," he says. "Bosses who are mean will eventually experience a decrease in employee commitment, a rise in errors and poor work quality, as well as increased interpersonal conflicts and team dysfunction."
If you have an evil boss, here are seven tips from Branch and Hurzeler:
1. Make the distinction.
"Make sure you have not confused 'demanding" with 'mean.' There are lots of demanding bosses out there, who demand you do the job you are paid to do. If you are not qualified to do that job or cannot do the job for some reason, the problem is actually yours. What might sound mean to you is probably just the facts being placed before you. Suspect yourself and do all you can to deliver as required on your job," Hurzeler says. "If you have delivered on time and as promised, and the boss is still mean to you, sit down and talk to the boss. Maybe you have missed the point of his or her ineffective behavior, or maybe you do have room for improvement. The boss will learn of the negative effect that they are having on you and may work to change his or her ways. If you don't bring up your grievances in a clear and constructive way, nothing will ever change."
2. Take a break.
"Working for a mean or bully boss can be one of the top stressors in the workplace and can cause severe stress-related health problems. In view of this, it is essential for employees to take a stress break when they are confronted with a mean or bully boss. Take time off from work for at least a week and be sure to visit your doctor during this time," Branch says.
3. Don't shut down.
"If you fold up under the pressure of a mean boss, the boss is then given the sword to take you out of the game. The mean boss wins and you lose," Hurzeler says. "Bring your best game to work every single day and you will outlast or win over the mean boss. You win. Mean loses."
4. Document
"Employees should begin to document the mean boss's behavior. Make note of negative actions taken by the boss and how they are impacting employee productivity. Include details such as dates, times, specifics of the mean boss behavior and employees targeted. Include what attempts, if any, were made by you or other employees to address the situation and the outcome of such interventions," Branch says.
5. Constructively confront
"Meet with the mean boss to address your concerns. Keep your emotions intact. Do not scream, yell or become aggressive. Keep your tone calm and even. Be careful not to point the finger or focus on the individual, but rather seek to understand and resolve any concerns the boss may have which lead to the mean behavior. Ask open-ended questions. Ask how you can better support the boss," Branch says.
6. Report the boss
"The negative impact of working with a mean boss is too great. If you are in a situation where you work for a mean or spiteful boss, plan your exit. Update your résumé and begin circulating it internally and externally," Branch says. "Work your network to learn about unadvertised opportunities in other areas of the company or at another company. No employee should have to work in a mentally, emotionally and, in some instances, physically debilitating environment."
Rachel Farrell researches and writes about job search strategy, career management, hiring trends and workplace issues for CareerBuilder.com. Follow @CareerBuilder on Twitter.
Article Reprints
Permission must be obtained from CareerBuilder.com to reprint any of its articles. Please send a request to cbreprints@permissionsgroup.com.
But Ward, now a career coach, says that dealing with these types of managers came down to one thing: standing up for herself.
"By standing up for myself and/or not engaging, it allowed me to keep my self-confidence up, regardless. It didn't make it an unemotional situation and it didn't make me enjoy working there, but it felt better for me than taking his [abuse]," she says.When it comes to managers, there are many personality types to deal with -- demanding, micromanaging, hands-off or even relaxed. But perhaps the worst kind of manager to deal with is one who is downright evil.
Bosses are mean to their employees for many reasons. Don Hurzeler, author of "The Way Up: How to Keep Your Career Moving in the Right Direction," says one is reason is that people imitate the behaviors they experienced early on in their own careers.
"If someone is new in the business, impressionable and sees their boss manage by intimidation and by being a bully, they may think that is the way to be when they become a boss," he says.
Some mean managers may not be confident in their own abilities to manage, he adds.
"To cover up the fact that they have a poor self-image and poor management communication skills, they become that mean dictator that no one dare question," he says.
Some mean bosses will tell you that they're nasty because they have high standards, but that's just an excuse, says Kathi Elster, president of K Squared Enterprises, an executive coaching firm, and author of "Working With You Is Killing Me" and "Working for You Isn't Working for Me."
"The real reason that a boss feels they can be mean to their employees is because they are unhappy with their own situation at work. Let's face it, being the boss means that you are in a power position and have control over those who report to you, and it can be tempting to take out your own disappointment on those in a weaker position."It's important to note, however, that there's a difference between a boss who is perceived as mean because he is tough and a boss who is mean because he is a bully, says Treivor Branch, author of "The Drama-Free Workweek" and CEO of The Branch Solution LLC, a workplace issues and conflict resolution consultancy.
"A bully enjoys belittling and berating employees to cover up their own insecurities. The bully may scream, yell or humiliate employees to make them feel incompetent and fails to recognize or reward good work," he says. "A boss who is simply tough has high standards of excellence, but at the same time recognizes and rewards employees for good work."Doing good work might be hard in a toxic work environment. While some employees may be able to perform effectively under a mean boss, more will crumble under the consistent pressure of trying to meet the demands of mean, unreasonable boss, Branch says. And that makes for less productivity, which is not good in today's work climate.
"Employees perform best in a happy, healthy work environment. Fewer workers taking on greater responsibilities is already a recipe for disaster. Now, add mean or spiteful bosses; employee stress shoots through the roof, thus impacting their ability to effectively complete even mundane tasks," he says. "Bosses who are mean will eventually experience a decrease in employee commitment, a rise in errors and poor work quality, as well as increased interpersonal conflicts and team dysfunction."
If you have an evil boss, here are seven tips from Branch and Hurzeler:
1. Make the distinction.
"Make sure you have not confused 'demanding" with 'mean.' There are lots of demanding bosses out there, who demand you do the job you are paid to do. If you are not qualified to do that job or cannot do the job for some reason, the problem is actually yours. What might sound mean to you is probably just the facts being placed before you. Suspect yourself and do all you can to deliver as required on your job," Hurzeler says. "If you have delivered on time and as promised, and the boss is still mean to you, sit down and talk to the boss. Maybe you have missed the point of his or her ineffective behavior, or maybe you do have room for improvement. The boss will learn of the negative effect that they are having on you and may work to change his or her ways. If you don't bring up your grievances in a clear and constructive way, nothing will ever change."
2. Take a break.
"Working for a mean or bully boss can be one of the top stressors in the workplace and can cause severe stress-related health problems. In view of this, it is essential for employees to take a stress break when they are confronted with a mean or bully boss. Take time off from work for at least a week and be sure to visit your doctor during this time," Branch says.
3. Don't shut down.
"If you fold up under the pressure of a mean boss, the boss is then given the sword to take you out of the game. The mean boss wins and you lose," Hurzeler says. "Bring your best game to work every single day and you will outlast or win over the mean boss. You win. Mean loses."
4. Document
"Employees should begin to document the mean boss's behavior. Make note of negative actions taken by the boss and how they are impacting employee productivity. Include details such as dates, times, specifics of the mean boss behavior and employees targeted. Include what attempts, if any, were made by you or other employees to address the situation and the outcome of such interventions," Branch says.
5. Constructively confront
"Meet with the mean boss to address your concerns. Keep your emotions intact. Do not scream, yell or become aggressive. Keep your tone calm and even. Be careful not to point the finger or focus on the individual, but rather seek to understand and resolve any concerns the boss may have which lead to the mean behavior. Ask open-ended questions. Ask how you can better support the boss," Branch says.
6. Report the boss
"Make your human resources department aware of the situation, especially if the situation escalates following your discussion with the boss. Be sure to present your documentation. In addition, you may want to contact an attorney as some of the boss's actions may violate laws regarding hostile work environments and may be eligible for legal action," Branch says.
7. Plan your exit "The negative impact of working with a mean boss is too great. If you are in a situation where you work for a mean or spiteful boss, plan your exit. Update your résumé and begin circulating it internally and externally," Branch says. "Work your network to learn about unadvertised opportunities in other areas of the company or at another company. No employee should have to work in a mentally, emotionally and, in some instances, physically debilitating environment."
Rachel Farrell researches and writes about job search strategy, career management, hiring trends and workplace issues for CareerBuilder.com. Follow @CareerBuilder on Twitter.
Article Reprints
Permission must be obtained from CareerBuilder.com to reprint any of its articles. Please send a request to cbreprints@permissionsgroup.com.
Story Filed Monday, May 02, 2011 - 2:38 PM
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
World of Warcraft keeps creeping in
I have been playing Rift instead of WoW for the last couple of months. The problem with Rift is the monotoney level is just too damn hit. Don't get me wrong it's fun, but the lack of variety really hurts the game. Rift is great for those wanting an opportunity to do raids on the spot. So, I have reactivated my WoW, and my other fav is Champions Online, which is also a bit monotomous, but it's character design is so expansive that I'm not bored with it yet. When the new Star Wars MMORPG comes out ... I don't know what I will do. I haven't played Lord of the Rings Online in quite a while, but it's a great game too.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
The Mighty Thor
This weekend the Thor movie comes out, which I have been really looking forward too. Strangely, my liking the character has only been in the last five years. Growing up I just didn't consider him. I mean I saw reprints of his origin that occurred in Journey into Mystery 83 a Marvel Comics publication, but it was really really a bad origin that just didn't take with me. Alien invasions in Norway, crippled doctor on vacation, Thor, really badly drawn and named robot, and flying saucers. Wow, what the hell were you thinking Stan, or perhaps smoking? As the comic grew a couple of years later it actually because a good comic with better storylines. The latest incarnation of Thor a couple of volumes later it ends up one of the few comics that I can stomach along with Iron Man.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Tired, from yesterday maybe. Went to Temple, and sat around with my camera not doing a whole lot with it. I'm thinking about a trip to the zoo. Animals are always usually good subjects. The music was great last night, and other than an insident with a girl insulting Ann the evening went well. I think (I hope) the girl was just being an idiot. In a body that skinny there probably isn't a lot of room for a brain. I mean theres skinny healthy, and skinny (meth). lol! Ok, ok, that was mean and wrong ... skinny "unhealthy".
Next week is going to be busy. I have to go do lawn work at my mothers, and next weekend is my birthday. 44, and I'm not looking forward to it. Other than being with Ann and going to see Thor.
Next week is going to be busy. I have to go do lawn work at my mothers, and next weekend is my birthday. 44, and I'm not looking forward to it. Other than being with Ann and going to see Thor.
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